Happy Mother's Day

I could not let Mother’s Day pass without a blog entry.

Over the past few days, Mom’s determination NOT to eat seems to be increasing. And I have tried everything I can think of.

Something that Mom used to make for me as a child, particularly if I was under the weather with a sore throat, was egg custard. So I made it for Mom. I thought surely she would eat that since it requires no chewing. But, alas, I failed to convince her to eat it. Perhaps I used too little sugar. I thought that, if she would not eat it, I would, rather than let it go to waste, and I don’t need the sugar. But I think I am grasping at straws for an explanation. She just didn’t want it.

Having had good luck with oatmeal one day, I tried it again. And I talked up some bananas I had brought home from the store because she used to like that on her oatmeal. She seemed pleased at the prospect but by the time I brought it in, she wasn’t about to eat it. Please to “open your mouth, Mom,” are met with a slight pucker that shuts down firmly on the bowl of the spoon before I could get it more than half an inch into her mouth. So I was only getting the most miniscule portion of a cereal inside and she “chewed” on that for some time before spitting it out.

I remembered that I had bought a box of baby oatmeal thinking that it might be something I could mix with baby food for our sick cat who died before I could try it. So it was there still in its seal from the store waiting for the next food drive and I thought “why not.” So I mixed it with water and heated it and then added some cream to cool it. It was thin enough to sip through a straw. I sweetened it and put it in a cup. I managed to get possibly a tablespoon into Mom through a straw. I’m thinking that once she figured out this was food, she decided she did not want it.

I’m desperate to get some protein into her and the last time I tried grinding cooked meat into very fine particles I found that it no longer worked. Part of the problem now seems to be that if it is barely warm, it is suspect now. I guess that says food. So I tried potted meat that I had brought from the store in hopes that it would work. I spread it on very thin slices of a yeast roll and she nibbled it but the second bite she just rolled around until she could spit it out.

I brought home some Eagle Brand sweetened condensed milk yesterday and put it in the blender with ice and banana and whipped up a lovely banana milk shake. She sipped about a tablespoon total over three sessions of coaxing her. If she would eat that it would be very nourishing but she complained it was too rich. I think maybe I might try with strawberries later today and add some milk to make it less intense. But I am close to my wit’s end.

This morning I got some coffee into her and talked up fresh local peas that I had bought at Harris's Market. She seemed enthusiastic but I don’t know if she will eat them. I am willing to puree them if that will help. I also got some local asparagus and strawberries. I just don’t know what kind of luck I will have. But that food processor has certainly been useful lately.

She’s lost her interest in flowers, too, and that’s not at all like her. We’ve had lots of rain and it beat down some of the hybrid iris that are far too heavy for their stems, so I cut them and brought them in and put them in a large vase in her room. The aroma is sweet and powerful. She acknowledged them after I called her attention to them but wasn’t terribly interested. I looked at Mother’s Day cards in the grocery store but couldn’t choose one – instead I cried as I looked at them. But I couldn’t let the day go unmarked so I brought her a pretty begonia with a bloom the size of a silver dollar shaped like a rose. She did admire it but her interest in flowers has faded.

I changed her top; I’ve left off pajama bottoms now as they just get wet. But I put a pretty new one on her this morning after her diaper change and quicky bath and somehow managed to haul her about a foot closer to the head of the bed so she is sort of sitting up. She drank her coffee but didn’t want food.

I have a new batch of things to try to day: fruit sorbet, a peach smoothie from Boost and the fresh veggies I brought home. But I don’t know if anything in my food arsenal will work. I sat beside her on the bed with my back in an awkward position for which I will probably pay later and shelled the peas and talked about them and how Mom Mom used to grow peas and asked if she wanted me to put dumplings in them. She finally decided that she might. So they are simmering on the stove and it’s almost time to add the dumplings. Wish me luck!

Cake for Breakfast

Recently, I bought cake for a group meeting and ended up bringing home two kinds of leftover cake. Mom, whose appetite has whithered, enjoyed it so much that I served her carrot cake for breakfast and chocolate cake for dessert after dinner. That's why when I was thinking about trying to keep some sort of written record of this experience that the name for my blog first occurred to me -- Cake for Breakfast.

One of the casualties of Alzheimer's for Mom has been her appetite. When I was still trying to work and care for mom, I always planned dessert as well as a balanced meal for her and her sitter. She ate better when someone ate with her and seemed to enjoy the dishes I prepared for her. But gradually, getting her to eat became a problem. The first problem was a sick stomach that we decided might be attributed to her meds. We changed them and her appetite picked up again, but it didn't last long. She ate less and less.

Possibly, her taste buds don't respond to food the way they used to. At first, I attributed her waning interest in food to her trouble using the utensils. When a knife and fork were too much to manage, I substituted a spoon. But as time passed the only thing that worked was her fingers. Eventually, even that was a problem and I began to feed her. Sometimes she would refuse her dinner but want dessert. Sometimes I could use the prospect of dessert to persuade her to eat some of the meal I had prepared. But that no longer works. I can't even get her to drink Ensure.

Sometimes she asks for something, like mashed potatoes yesterday, but she may not stay awake long enough to eat what she's requested. At other times she purses her lips together tightly and refuses to allow the spoon to pass her lips. And she may hold the world record for number of times she chews her food. When she really doesn't want it, she waits until you are out of sight and spits it out, wherever.

Although her interest in food continues to wane, she retains enjoyment of sweet stuff, especially ice cream. The doctor said that ice cream was good for her whenever she wanted it so we keep a supply. But as I fed her minuscule dabs of ice cream yesterday, I wondered how long that will last.