Exhaustion

I am so tired right now that I can hardly function. The telephone started at shortly after 9 a.m. and has punctuated the day. I was glad to hear from everyone who called but not able to function as well as I will when I have had some rest. I napped between calls until about 11:30 when I decided I was more hungry than sleepy. Friends who have brought by already prepared food and snacks are a real Godsend. I don't feel like cooking.

We are making plans for the service. I think it will be very nice and that she would approve. Rather than gloom and doom, we are going for something with a positive message. And I have to note that thinking about the service has been good comfort "therapy" yesterday and today. It doesn't take my full faculties to leaf through the hymnbook and think about music she would like or that might be comforting to those of us who are left. I spent part of yesterday selecting scriptural passages that I thought fitting. I choose to include one that my father helped me to memorize years ago because it became special to us. I recited it at a church service that recognized the study and work of members of the Girls Auxiliary of the Woman's Missionary Union, Mom was GA director at the time. It's a long passage and it took me some time to master it. After that, whenever we heard it, it was like a private signal between us reminding us of that time in our life before we lost my dad.

Bill used to be my "next door neighbor" at school. His office was next to mine as I was one of those invasive members of the communication arts department who were sprinkled throughout Fulton Hall in the midst of other departmental offices. I was surrounded by the music department of which he is a faculty member. He's arranging the music for the service so I know it will be lovely. My neighbor, Ruth, who works for the school board is reading a poem by John Donne and another former neighbor, who still works at the church office on the other side of me is going to read that special passage of scripture. There's no one left but me who would fully understand the significance of that passage to our family, so that's something that is just for me.

Two of my former students, and close personal friends, are preparing Mom's Eulogy. I am thrilled. I know that it will be lovely and that it will strike just the right note. One of them was her regular Tuesday night sitter when I was still teaching and they became very fond of one another. The other student is possibly a distant relative of Mom (but we claim her regardless) and on a couple of occasions when she spent time with Mom, she got to hear tales of Mom's life as a child that including living on Assateague Island, very near when this student now lives at Chincoteague. Mom went to school to hear their research presentation at the Undergraduate Research Conference and thought that they were very special, which they are.

I've had condolences from folks who knew Mom and others who only know me but know about the role she played in my life. Those have meant a great deal to me. The ones that came via email I will have to print out and save. Some of them are just lovely. Knowing what her life and personality meant to others is a great comfort.